The White House press conference took an unexpected turn Tuesday when Elon Musk’s four-year-old son, X Æ A-Xii, decided that enough was enough. While Musk stood beside former President Donald Trump to discuss his new role as head of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), young X made a powerful statement—one that resonated with millions of Americans: “I want you to shut your mouth.”
It remains unclear whether this was directed at the reporters, his father, or perhaps the entire U.S. government. Either way, it was the most unfiltered, honest political statement heard in the White House in years.
The Build-Up
Seated atop Musk’s shoulders like a futuristic warlord surveying his empire, X Æ A-Xii spent most of the press conference conducting sophisticated experiments—such as inserting his fingers into Musk’s ears and seeing how long it took for his father to lose his train of thought. The answer? Not long.
As Musk attempted to discuss the administration’s commitment to “restoring democracy through efficiency,” X Æ A-Xii, clearly unimpressed with the bureaucratic jargon, took the moment to deliver his iconic line. The room fell silent. Journalists clutched their notepads. Trump paused mid-hand gesture, his lips pursed in thought—perhaps for the first time ever.
The Fallout
Musk, momentarily stunned, recovered quickly. “Uh, well, I suppose gravitas is a work in progress,” he said, before prying his son’s hands from his face. Trump, on the other hand, took a different approach, turning to the cameras and declaring, “This kid? High IQ. One of the best. The best at shutting people up. Tremendous talent.”
Media outlets exploded with coverage. CNN debated whether X Æ A-Xii was a secret genius or simply America’s most relatable political commentator. Fox News ran a segment titled: “Is Elon Raising a Socialist?” while Twitter declared him their new patron saint of self-control.
The Aftermath
In a post-conference tweet, Musk stated, “Raising children is like running a startup—except the employees don’t listen, there are no profits, and you can’t fire anyone.” X Æ A-Xii, meanwhile, remains unavailable for comment, likely because he was bribed with a juice box and a Tesla ride home.
In the end, the press conference achieved two things: It clarified absolutely nothing about DOGE’s role in government, and it provided America with the greatest political soundbite since “I am not a crook.”
A historic moment indeed.