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BEDFORD, UK — Mere hours after Universal Studios announced its plans to build Europe’s largest theme park just outside Bedford (because obviously), Elon Musk took to X (formerly known as Twitter, formerly known as a good idea) to unveil his latest masterstroke of genius-energy-techno-hype-magic: powering the entire park with Tesla cars doing synchronized donuts. “No […]

In a surprising turn of international diplomacy (or perhaps just sheer panic), the UK has announced it will be sending the entire London Eye to America as a peace offering, following a spat over trade tariffs. The move comes after President Donald Trump imposed a series of aggressive tax tariffs on British goods, including tea,

TOKYO – In a groundbreaking development that no one really asked for, Japanese tech giant KissuTech has unveiled a revolutionary new app designed to bring the intimacy of kissing into the digital age. Dubbed “KissMe 3000,” the app promises to simulate real-life smooching through a special set of silicone lips that attach to your smartphone.

The White House press conference took an unexpected turn Tuesday when Elon Musk’s four-year-old son, X Æ A-Xii, decided that enough was enough. While Musk stood beside former President Donald Trump to discuss his new role as head of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), young X made a powerful statement—one that resonated with millions

In a shocking yet oddly predictable turn of events, Barclays has blamed its latest 48-hour online banking meltdown on an epidemic of excessive lunch breaks and an overwhelming influx of online food deliveries to its headquarters. The banking giant, whose customers were left helplessly refreshing their app in a desperate attempt to transfer funds, insisted

In a move nobody saw coming (or particularly asked for), Nigel Farage has announced plans to construct “Brexit Island” at the end of Walton Pier—a “sovereign outpost of true British values” featuring a duty-free Wetherspoons, a statue of Winston Churchill made entirely of fish fingers, and a border checkpoint for anyone entering from Clacton. Speaking

In an audacious move that will surely shake up the streaming industry, Elon Musk has announced his latest venture: Muskflix—a brand-new platform where every single piece of content is about one thing, and one thing only: Elon Musk. The billionaire inventor, entrepreneur, and aspiring intergalactic overlord will be taking his love for being in the

In an unexpected turn of events, the UK and US governments have announced plans to close all cat cafes in both countries, citing an alarming rise in “Cat Flu” among both felines and humans. Authorities state that the popular cafes, where customers sip lattes and pet adoptable cats, have unwittingly become ground zero for a

In a shocking move that has left both financial experts and political commentators baffled, Labour leader Keir Starmer is reportedly preparing to launch his own cryptocurrency, tentatively named “StarmerCoin”. Sources close to the opposition leader say the decision was inspired by Donald Trump’s own foray into digital assets, with Starmer determined to prove that “Labour

In a bold attempt to plug the ever-growing holes in their budgets, local councils across the UK have started selling advertising space on their staff uniforms. Leeds City Council is leading the charge, unveiling a striking new partnership with fast food giant German Doner Kebab (GDK). Starting this week, council workers—including bin collectors, parking wardens,