Hollywood, CA – In an unprecedented turn of events, actor Greg Hutchinson has found himself cast in a major upcoming Marvel film without so much as a phone call, audition, or even a vague understanding of what’s happening. Marvel Studios, known for its highly selective casting process and rigorous auditions, has reportedly chosen Hutchinson for a major role based on an “accidental mix-up” during a routine trip to the grocery store.
Hutchinson, best known for his role as “The Guy Who Walked by in the Background” in the hit TV series Wizards of Suburbia, was casually picking up avocados when an enthusiastic Marvel producer allegedly mistook him for “someone else.” The producer, who reportedly had not seen a film since The Avengers was in theaters, simply approached Hutchinson, handed him a script, and said, “You’re going to make a lot of money. It’s about time we had someone like you in the MCU.”
“Honestly, I thought it was just some guy trying to get me to sign up for a pyramid scheme,” said Hutchinson, a man who was still confused about the concept of NFTs. “Then they took my headshot, and I thought, ‘Well, maybe they’re casting for a Friends reboot or something.’ Turns out, it was Marvel’s new ‘Secret Space Agents’ film. Whatever that is.”
Marvel Studios has yet to officially confirm Hutchinson’s role, but sources close to the production claim that the actor will be playing “Mysterious Guy No. 42,” a character whose powers include being able to “accidentally save the universe by tripping over an important piece of alien technology.”
Industry insiders are baffled by the decision, noting that Hutchinson has no formal training in acting, and his previous work involves an uncredited cameo in an IKEA commercial. “It’s honestly incredible,” says film critic and long-time Marvel fan Tracy Powers. “In a universe where literally everyone has a backstory, Greg will be the first character whose main trait is that he doesn’t know why he’s there.”
As for Hutchinson, he says he’s just “rolling with it.” When asked how he feels about starring in a Marvel blockbuster, he replied, “Well, they did offer me a free smoothie, so I guess I’m in.”
Disclaimer: This article is completely, 100%, absolutely fake. If you believed any of this, you might want to reconsider your reading material and possibly your life choices. No actors were harmed in the making of this story, but a few egos might have been slightly bruised. Always verify news from reliable sources, especially if it involves smoothies or accidental superhero casting.