In a surprising turn of international diplomacy (or perhaps just sheer panic), the UK has announced it will be sending the entire London Eye to America as a peace offering, following a spat over trade tariffs. The move comes after President Donald Trump imposed a series of aggressive tax tariffs on British goods, including tea, tweed, and passive-aggressive sarcasm.
“We just want Donald to be happy again,” a Downing Street spokesperson said, blinking into the distance. “If that means boxing up a 400-foot Ferris wheel and floating it across the Atlantic, then so be it. It’s either that or send the Royal Family. And they don’t pack well.”
Once reassembled, the London Eye will be installed in Florida, conveniently overlooking one of Trump’s golf courses. It will be renamed The Great American Eye and reportedly feature luxury VIP pods lined with gold, Fox News on loop, and ketchup dispensers.
In return, America has agreed to gift the UK several crates of Mountain Dew and the exclusive rights to season 28 of The Apprentice: Mar-a-Lago Edition.
🛑 Disclaimer: This is entirely fake news. The London Eye is not going anywhere. Donald Trump has not received a Ferris wheel, and the only thing spinning out of control is this post.